Ellis

thin fingers, paper hands tensely
clutching a worn leather handle
cold toes tucked into solid boots
have seen some wear, walk to the coast
their lives in flight, diamonds
adeptly sewn into the hems of pants and skirts
pupils focused at the
dim point of horizon, knowing
ships come, to take them to elsewhere

they land in the city of old and new
they lay down the rhythm of jazz
they bicker and carve their place in spite of eachother
they welcome the misfits for schadenfreude, praise tension, angst

their weary children
know their place behind
the birth of new york, the better child
deferring to the cage, not whistling
nor even taking flight in steel
they think the point of argument is something real
the glass window, the missing sky
to gaze up and see no cloud
angry voices, reminds them
of the jaundiced home these vagabonds had found themselves
how unadventerous they are!
waiting for new york to seek them out
hoping
it cares as much as it shames
believing
the serendipity of collision

when the journey was carried in boats
and the waves turned the stomach
those paper hands held fast
to even colder railings
where were you? a dream in the eye
and you think the world is small
but your home is a fixed location
the only dot on the map

the city changes
the city won’t remember
your ancestors
their frugal labored fruit
their 5 block world with its own district
it swallows them whole

and if you fall, miss the rhythm?
and if you want to breathe without the soot?
and if you taste the pavement when you hunger for the earth?
good luck to you then, the smug would say
you’ve earned it
the only world you need to know
won’t need you now

Worthy Marker (2008)

don’t think you are too golden to bleed
you have nothing, nothing to fear from me
my body shows you how to breathe

come and bless my sweat!

rough me up
come out to play, a fantasy
i’m a worthy platform

when you’re done i’ll show you where
the air that you neglected
calls to me
i can fill the space
to get you back on your feet
where the throat and sun meet

possibly a character!
but you’re human to me
whatever makes it easy

when you sleep
the sores that you neglected
call to me
they want to hear me speak
manifest in me
i’ll soothe them
so cling to me
i’m a worthy platform!

Rain and Sand Bar (2008)

losing my center
the best sacrifice
to bring me closer

into another space and time
lightening grip
where have i been
where do i want to be

grabbing at my ankles
an unspecific feeling
can i swim against the current

drowning again
bless me with a raft, love
teach me to swim
this ain’t a sand bar
you hold me within

Send a Message (2004)

send a message to the unborn child
keep your eyes open for awhile
your hatred blinds me like
a flash of lightning light

you blinded me. and the clouds
set in the lenses
please kill me before i bring you
into this life

3 seconds to drag a blade
across this windpipe, gagging
your motions falsely empathetic
my baby lays in ignorance
of your hatred for me

you hated me. and the storm of your emotions
precipitates this death
in me. i wish i could give you
a resolution to your pain
and fall upon you gracefully
as sweetly as the rain
billowing in vast centers

3 seconds to slide yourself
into my body, crying
your emotions falsely empathetic
my suffering, your heart to wear
triumphantly like a boy scout badge
you conquered me, our suffering
that which you truly loved

Seed (2004)

you can break open her
brittle heart with a
steel mallet and you’ll find
a soft core, a gushy center
a wet inside into which, you may
dive your body and your eagerness
to spill some life into and
watch it grow

just don’t turn away
call it misfortune

Two Clouds over Two Suns (2008)

you cannot hold what i’m giving to you
it won’t fit in the palm of your hands
i cannot find, nor understand
the whole of my message

when you will ask, i will shelter away
retreating to show, the sun of the day
covering when, the winter wind blows
careless away

the orb you are traveling in
reflects onto me, radiates beneath the skin
i’m a promise to mine
relinquishing that sin
loving all of my kin
i’m a promise to mine

Admiring You (2004)

suck it up, my love
each toxin the city
emits, permitting
your poisoning, giving your consciousness
little kicks

don’t blow it back at me

suck it up, my love
strength is absorption
write a poem
create a crafty cancer, of
wit and wisdom
you are strong enough to
hate yourself again
not me
hate you, not me

Trance (2008)

you need the numbers
i can’t remember
what time it is
you need the numbers
more specific than september
or the plenty of my tears
the quantity is the right space
just endless bodies with no face
you have a vision of future
foreign to me

my empty heart is full
energy is lighter than anything
particle or pathogen
it’s not the all what i choose to bring
you know its natural, i’m just kidding

you need the numbers
you need the numbers
more than your toes
heaven knows
no self control
i feel it so
you’ve got a sense of your own self
tragically bound for devil, XV
you know your body can’t be controlled by me

Enough to Sustain (2008)

the eyes don’t need to know
what you are showing me
i’m sure your ignorant of the endless waves
information like wind in blades
enough to sustain, my meditation doesn’t fail
just change

course, of course

Or Else What (2008)

take your dreams
bury them, under a pile of gold
she said, she has
soft white hands and longer fingernails
her eyes speak of happier tales
she pats her lips and forgets to dot her eyes
remembers discarded napkins and
forgets your favorite film
oblivious and perfect
completely disinterested
your mind is intriguing but she’ll never get there

i am not existing in any other place
except here
the same place you have left me
every time
i make a mess, i throw a tantrum
because you aren’t mine